SUNNY VALE
(Comp Safari??).
Better late than never, as the saying goes, and
I do hope it applies to this report. To the best
of my recollection Sunny Vale was way back in
1977, December to be precise, and this two thirds
done report has laid on my desk since before
Christmas, the trouble is that now my memory is
letting me down when it comes to the last third;
Ah well here goes......
Well I said this event was something completely
different, what I hadn't realised was just how
different. Things didn't exactly go as planned
but I'm sure that NEXT time everything will go
like clockwork.
Time ran out, catering facilities ran out,
daylight ran out in fact everything except
enthusiasm ran out; Entries we had in plenty,
20 standards, 14 specials and one Range Rover,
2 entries from the YROC and one spectator from
the L&C, namely Derek Montford who wished he'd
entered.
The motors were split into standards and
specials classes, then names drawn to see who
would compete against who. Two at a time on the
track, set number of laps and then using the
winners for the next heat and so on, finally
working down to the final to get a first and
second in each class. There was also to be run
off to get the 1st and 2nd overall but this had
to be modified to a run off between the standard
class winner and the specials class winner. At
the very end was the 'Donkey Derby" for all those
brave enough and fit enough for a mass thrash
round the track.
For those who didn't go the track is a local
stock car track, maybe not up to the standard of
Belle Vue but a very interesting kidney shape
and a surface something akin to the wife's
custard, ie. smooth in places lumpy in others
and consistently sticky;
Geoff Dyer was first to hit the dirt when he
rolled his eighty in the first heat while trying
to take a fast short cut up the inside banking,
the rest I leave to your imagination; (Actually
Malcolm Foreman has given me a great photo of
Geoff on 2 wheels just before he bites the dust,
unfortunately it isn't quite sharp enough to
reproduce in BB, sorry Geoff)
Eddy Benthan had everyone in hysterics by his
fanatical attempts to destroy himself and his
eighty by doing the wall of death right round
the top of the bottom banking, at first everyone
thought that he was out of control but it soon
became plain that he'd decided that it was the
fastest way round the corner;
It certainly made the spectators stand well
back but it must have been a bit like banging
your head against the wall, nice when you stop!!
These mark you, were only the standards, the
real loonies were yet to come. The first specials
heat saw Andy Gott 'blind driving' when his
modified front end came up, wings, bonnet grille,
everything; he carried on driving with one hand
while holding the front down with the other, it
was a battle he finally lost.
As I've already described the track surface
was really gooey, the bottom corner, having a
concrete surface was particularly bad and several
Landies did graceful twirls a la Generation Game
before coming to rest on the banking;
Having watched the specials heats at Sunny
Vale I've decided that the word 'Specials' is
too liberally applied to motors in our club, the
only thing special about the majority of them is
the way they manage to lose 50% of their components
and still keep running;
Cliff roberts in his 2¼ Diesel was slaughtering
the opposition, first to go under was George
Carruthers also in a diesel but then Cliff started
on the petrol engined motors, last to be defeated
by diesel smoke was Carl Amos, leaving Cliff
Roberts and Donald Cole to fight it out for the
final.
Back in the specials class Raymond Sagar in
his V-8 Series 11 drew David Harrison in his
Range Rover. This promised to be a good match,
both drivers are experienced, both engines the
same but there the similarity ends, the odds
must be in favour of the Range Rover with the
better suspension, brakes etc. Raymond however
didn't think so. During their heat, the lead changed twice
but despite Raymond doing the top
corner on 2 wheels and a wing mirror he was just
pipped at the post by the Range Rover.
David Harrison eventually went out to John
Lister's superb driving, leaving John and Ted
Hartley both in V-8 Lightweights to battle out
the final.
From my perch on the banking, (I was beaten by
a YROC member; blush, choke, mumble..,.) it was
obvious that John Lister was going to take some
beating he was sideways through the corners and
never (well nearly never) out of control, Ted
put up a tremendous fight throwing it about with
gay abandon but John held the lead throughout
the final to win by a quarter of a lap.
The standards final was no less exciting, Cliff
had proved that he could eat petrols for break-
fast but Donald was on his best ever form and '
try as he might Cliff just couldn't catch him,
it was close but Donald won.
This made the results so far, 1st Standard.
Donald Cole 2 1/4 Lightweight.
2nd Standard. Cliff Roberts 2 1/4 S/ll Diesel
1st Special, John Lister V-8 Lightweight.
2nd Special. Ted Hartley V-8 Lightweight.
As I've already mentioned there should have
been a run off for overall position, but as time
was short John and Donald were put in together
to get the overall winner. This just had to be
the race of the day. In my personal opinion, John
and Donald are two of the finest most consistent
Land Rover drivers in the whole of England and
both of them have been competing each other for
longer than I care to admit to. On the face of it
Donald had no real chance against the V-8 unless
he made a mistake, well during the ten laps the
lead changed no fewer than 4 times, and both of
them were driving on the limit. In the end
Donald won and I know that John would be the
first to say that it was an epic bit of driving
Standards rool yet again OK; (You may have
noticed in last BB that Donalds Lightweight is
up for sale so that’s a bit loss oppo from now
on; )
I would also like to point out that very
sportingly both of them agreed that because of
the circumstances they would only receive points
for the driver of the year award on their class
wins and not on the overall positions which keeps
it fair for everyone,
By this time the light was failing fast and
I felt sure that no-one would want to attempt
the 'Donkey Derby' in those conditions....... not
a bit of it;
They were parked up like Panzers waiting for
the order to attack, and so in virtually nil
visibility they lined up 6 at a time in 3 heats
to see who could survive to be 'Donkey Derby'
champion. What a sight they made hurtling round
in semi darkness some with lights and some with
none. In the first heat Eddy Benthan kept up his
loony image by bumping a nice straight Range
Rover in order to get it to move....it didn't;
Brian Illingworth spluttered round on 3 cylinders
while ex stock car driver David Sagar took the
lead after giving Eddy a touch of 'bumper' to
clear the way.
I honestly couldn't see who was in the final,
the only way of keeping tabs on half of them was
by the flames coming out of the exhaust. After
what seemed a lifetime it was the final lap of the
final and surprise, surprise, who was first over
the line but John Lister with Russell Ridley in
second place and Dave Rae in third.
'' POXY POCKSTONES '78 (The Battle of
Pockstones Moor 1078)
Sunday morning dawned all too early with the
last of the New Year's festivities having only
just finished a mere couple of hours beforeup
at Middleham in the frozen wastes of North York-
shire.
The horrible truth slowly began to sink in
that this was the morning to be up bright and
early ready to battle with Poxy Pockstones once
again, the first of our events for the New Year.
My still vivid memories of last years assault
flashed through my numbed brain and had it not
been for the call of nature and being told that
my porridge was nearly cold, I could well have
chickened out and stayed in bed all day, just to
be safe.
I was obviously not alone in my scepticism,
for on arrival at the Stonehouse Inn there was
only our Hon. Chairman Neil and myself who were
brave enough to turn up on behalf of the Committee
ready to do battle with the inevitable revenge
crazed farmers wives out for a lynching and the
disillusioned members who claim they were never
told what Pockstones was really like.
Still with a good turnout of 40 vehicles which
must add up to around 100 members and friends
in body, things were beginning to look up.
Malcolm and Elaine Foreman had bravely brought.
the Club shop along and were doing a roaring
trade when I arrived. They must have been having
a January sale, but what was that I heard about
Sunday trading? I almost expected to see Mr. Jiffy
there as well as he'd have done a roaring trade
in hot soup and butties.
A quick check of all the assembled motors for
towing equipment, ropes and tyres confirmed my
fears that this year would be no different from
the rest. Lumps of chain knotted around dumb irons,
granny's garter tow ropes and super slick 600 ' s
were all present and correct and didn't overwhelm
me with enthusiasm
Neither did my own set of Dunlop RK-003's
(an thats the tread depth in mm) Look too hot
either. Now that was my excuse for not coming
this year, but too late so, let battle commence.
I did say a quick prayer before we set off
and thankfully the Cortina and lHillman of dubious
vintage didn't come with us after all,
After picking up the stragglers who got lost
before leaving the tarmac road (there were no
ruts to follow) we arrived on the moor and I was
already beginning to break out into a sweat and
tremble. It was at this point I noticed that
our Hon. Chairman Neil, who had been skulking at
the back had disappeared completely. Now I knew
that the Club shop were driving straight round
the road to the pub at the other end (they’re not
daft) but Millington was supposed to be on my
side and anyway I thought I would be safe with
him as he still had his "Official" vehicle stickers on his
motor from Catterick '77. The
approach road to Pockstones looked a bit like
Elland Road on a Saturday afternoon with folk
and motors everywhere. All was not well though
as they weren't ours. My God, I thought, its
the Ramblers Club, they've rumbled us and sent
an army this year in "oppo" there seemed to be
hundreds of them.
My mind momentarily flashed back to Salter
Fell '75 when we overtook a party of ramblers
about 50 times, that’s each way, and they were
not mightily pleased about it 'cos they told me
so. As I was almost (but not quite) at the back
of our convoy I had no alternative but to carry
on and join up with the rest ^safety in numbers
etc.). The first couple of miles were complet
ely clear with no hold-up, no snow and plenty
of mist. Unfortunately the recent thaw had c
cleared all the snow and softened the usually
soft ground into a quagmire. When I caught up
with everyone else I'm pleased to say that our
Hon. Chairman reappeared behind me. He'd been
doing his good deed for the day watching someone
else start their motor which had died. I could
tell Neil wasn't feeling too confident either
in the progress so far, as he actually got out
of his motor and put his wellies on. This was
noticed by several other members and could have
been taken as a bad omen. Things were surely
going to get worse. By this time it was 11.30
am. (half an,hour to opening time) and there
were only three motors through the bad hole. Ted,
Carl and Mervyn. Six other motors were up to their
bonnets in sh......... shockingly deep mud and
the rest had parked up and were having lunch
which was very picturesque. It was at this point
that my brain ceased to function properly and I
really did wish I'd stayed in bed. On the other
hand it could have just been a nightmare to the
sounds of groaning, tearing metal, louder groans
and tearing of hair from the owners and lots of
U.F.O.'s flying through the air, together with
some pretty strong language. I really would
prefer not to talk about it, but for those with
a strong stomach I'll relate the gory details.
In a flash of inspiration someone (no names)
suggested that as there were all the straight
motors at the front having lunch, we'd get some
of the "rickin" motors who know what they're
doing up front instead. In no time at all they
were stuck too: Cliff Roberts, Brian and Dave
Illingworth, Alan Preston, Dicky Day and Barney
Crabtree. Barney managed to winch himself out
of the beck onto hard ground and eventually
recovered the rest, meanwhile snapping both a
shearpin and his winch cable which embedded
itself up Dicky Days front end. At this point all
hell let loose with wings and bumpers falling on
all sides including one towing hitch which
managed about a 100 yd. flight and just missed
Ted Hartley's motor. Tarmac fell victim to the
same fatelosing his front towball in a snatch
tow followed by his front spring at the next
attempt together with a substantial part of his
shiny bodywork whilst being recovered from a rather
deep trench in his L.WB diesel. His comments on
being recovered, despite the damage were unex-
pected: "Thanks lads, reight do's these safaris".
To which I could only add: 'Rock on Tommy' the
club needs more like you. Trevor Carpenter mean-
while, driving his wife's sort of straight series II
managed to part company with both his (hers)
front bumper and rear cross member followed
shortly after, no -doubt , by his wife; This rope
snapping shackle straightening, wing bending,
chassis busting, diff twisting, axle cracking,
drivers : hopping mad, mad party was by now
well
uder way. The number of motors stuck were by
now beginning to outnumber the unstuck by the
second and everyone found their own safe route
further and further from the road and promptly
got stuck in it. Whilst recovering Cliff Roberts,
the last of the Harrogate Heavies, and his
diesel from a deep hole and ditch David and Brian
Illingworth, who were roped together in tandem for
a bit more power for the next snatch, had a rope
break, This unfortunately went straight through
Dave' s windscreen, showering him with glass and
Badly gashing his head. Luckilythere was no
shackle on the rope or things could have been
a lot worse. Neil and another unknown pair of
hands extracted most of the splinters of glass
from his eyes very efficiently, but there was
no question that he still required & trip to
Harrogate Hospital for safety’s sake. The wind-
screen for the record was the standard Triplex
type which we have now proved to be very danger-
ous, but David informs me that the passenger
side screen was laminated safety glass;; A quick
look in my first aid kit before we set off
revealed that a triangular bandage, bottle of
aspirins, tube of cream for insect bites, the
largest box of sticking plasters that Elasto-
plast make and a number of rubber finger thingys
were not going to oe cf the slightest use amongst
all the blood of Daves head. This is
where our stories part as Dave and I made a
quick ten mile dash to Harrogate Hospital. Not
that we needed to have worried because it wasn't
until three hours later, at 4p.m. that he was
seen by a doctor. Then with three stitches in
his forehead, an infection elsewhere and after
several x rays it was confirmed that all the
glass was removed. Maybe we had to wait because
of all the great piles of mud we carted into
the nice clean casualty department. Consequently
we didn't finally leave the hospital until after
6p.m. end missed a fine afternoon so I was later
informed. The afternoon being spent by the rest
of the members having a well earned pint or two
in the Clarendon Arms at Hebden, the last not
arriving until after 2pm. Fortunately the land-
lord, Jim Jones, remembering our late arrivals
and thirst from previous years, had been forewarned,
and had laid in plenty of pies, booze and, more
important, an extension until 4pm. Who says we're
not organised? The landlord even had to fight
his way through a murder trial at the local
court to get an-extension, which I'm sure was
greatly appreciated by all who made it,
It certainly sounded rowdy down the other end
of the phone when Neil phoned the hospital at
4pm to see where we were just before the pub
closed.
Whether any other stories are to be told about
this venture we shall see, but from my point of
view Poxy Poxstones 78 lived up to its name
yet again, and I don t think that there was
even one motor willing to come back over the
moor on the way home, despite the pleas from
Dicky Day.
Dick Schafer took his big white wheels home
before the battle really commenced. Having
seen the fete of Tarmac and others he obviously
didn’t fancy his chances of being winched
through that big ditch with an extra four inches
of wheel and mudguard at each side to get ripped
off. Howard Leahy made a similar retreat after
watching the majority of those present get them-
selves stuck, it looked pretty certain that the
cows definitely wouldn’t get milked if he got
stuck too;
As for Jeeps, well, they just don t go in mud
either and despite a good show our American visitor
with his Renegade finished up to his bonnet top
in mud - just like all the rest.
The lessons to be learned from this battle which
is as close to the Somme as we’ll ever get are
many., Firstly towing hooks and eyes are absol-
utely essential and if you must bolt them on to
the bumper rather then the chassis (standard
towing eyes bolt directly to the chassis) put a
steel plate behind because otherwise, as several
people can testify, the bolts pull straight
through the bumper washers and all, especially
on Series 11 & 111 s. If you don t have towing
hooks and eyes at all, just don t bother coming
for your own and our safety. Secondly buy a
good tow rope and shackles and no-one has any
excuse for being without these as our very own
'Malcolm the shop will sell you one stronger
and cheaper than you 11 get anywhere else. You 11
probably find the long ones more use on Safaris;
Thirdly and more important still, watch out
what s happening around you especially if your
just watching, because ropes, cables, shackles
and vehicles all disintegrate under conditions
like Pockstones and accidents do happen. We’ve
been lucky so far and want to keep it that way.
Remember also that no-one is covered by any
form of insurance on non-competitive events like
safaris.
Finally if you must bring young children on
safaris and no-one objects to this, do look after
them. They are your responsibility not ours
and are not capable of looking after themselves
without supervision.
Maybe I will stay in bed next year, but on the
other hand the ramblers turned out to be quite
friendly after ail and that bit of wall we paid
to rebuild last year looks smashing and I hear
that the beer was very good too.
P.S. I now have it on good authority that the
remainder of our Committee really did chicken
out Ya-Boo. Just think what they missed?
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