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Tunshill Trial


When I assisted/hindered Harry Haigh and Jonathan Oldfield to set the course out at Tunshill on the Saturday before the trial, it was a beautifulbut overcast day; a warm gentle breeze flowing over the moor making everything look easy.  A 750x16 road tyred 2A got round the course, taking the sections both ways without any problems.  When I left them to it to go and sign post the approaches, there were only two sections left to go, one of which I pleaded with Harry to include the big water puddle but Harry is a chap who must shrink easily and point blank refused to include it.  He muttered something about we'll use it for the team recovery but that was as far as it went.


(Editor's Note.  There now followed a long expletive riddled account of the author's problems with a certain make of battery cut off switch, in the interests of economy, pornographic publishing laws and brevity I've cut him off in his prime. End of censor!)


So, back to the trial, well set out (it had be didn't it!) with  scrutineering working well (too well for some!) and the horse box conveniently placed to take money.  Instructions given to the drivers by the scrutineers, i.e. Line up behind the bollards and not when everyone is meandering around the field.  The only thing which spoilt the plan was double entries which made a queue of 10 motors into something like 14 or 15.  The section proved difficult to everybody, the rain having made a somewhat slippy surface and both ends of motor went sideways easily.


At dinner time (it rained then didn't it!) start was at 2.00 p.m. prompt - if you weren't there you didn't start.  Four of the sections were turned round (making a total of two hands and a toe for the day).  These had suffered slightly from the morning's trial and rain making things slightly awkward.


After the trial was over you were meant to hand your score cards in; things would have gone easier if everyone had done but the love of water lapping round your plugs and knees - it was when I went through before dinner time - took over and everyone wanted to play hippo's and collect all those gossamer wings round your axles and brake linings.


Eventually the team recovery got under way. If you haven't heard how Carl Amos, in his indecently quick 2A Lightweight, slid sideways down a hillside, occasionally on 4 wheels then eventually on its nearside door and wing, and because friction had ceased on his wheels, used his roof and windscreen to put into a dry stone wall to stop them.  Hard luck, you wouldn't be interested in him saying after he'd got back on his tyres, “Get out of the way, I'm carrying on.'" would you?  He wasn't that far off mating with the roof of a Viva some poor unsuspecting spectator had left in the lane at the bottom of the hill either.  Still all's well that ends well and with only a punctured finger (well there's no pride left to deflate) he was able to set off for home.  Please don't try to sell him a screen, I unloaded mine on him.' My congratulations to all the winners at the trial and to all the organisers - it wasn't an easy one!


Dicky Day.



Leeds Crest Stages Rally saw seven Pennine entries going for the 4wd awards.  John Wright finally took it after another excellent performance. John Lister suffered a return of the mysterious cutting out that has affected his V8 on and off all its life.  Donald Cole gave his newly acquired Rangey its first airing and demolished"a fence with it just so we'd all stop calling him cissy!  Dave Simmonite had no less than four punctures which put him out of the rally (and Melonie out of breath from changing them!)  David Harrison retired his Rangey for the same reason, he ran out of spare wheels.  Raymond Sagar lost a lot of time when his throttle cable broke.  I didn't collect any trophies but I did collect a nice lump of farmhouse on the way round.


It was a good event and one which provided plenty of variety.  It is nice for the 4w drives to have a good mixture of dirt tracks and it gives the spectators something to watch!


Well, all that leaves me with is the Pooley Bridge report, so till next  month I wish you well and let's see some of that unique brand of Pennine flair at the National;

I shall, of course, as always, leave you with my thought of the month, 'Alcohol is good for preserving nearly everything, except secrets;


Brian Hartley.



Lanes & Cheshire Easter Weekend


CELLERON '78 (or, Water, Water, Everywhere except in the flaming tap!)

 So this is what Monsoons are like, I thought to myself, as torrential driving rain forced itself through every crack and joint, resulting in constant shifting of position in order to escape the larger torrents.


Still, the 'goods must go through.  I had an important cargo in the shape of Millington (some shape!) who had been appointed as one of the official Stewards of the meeting by some misinformed lunatic in the L&C.


On we struggled up Shap with hordes of homeward bound forty footers carrying late loads of Easter Eggs, steaming down the middle lane power washing everything they passed and making the darkness even blacker.  Oh for a 240 Gardner when you're cresting Shap with a caravan, headwind and 2 1/4 petrol;


We eventually came off the M6 with a sigh of relief (regular readers will all know my opinion about this particular Motorway.') and some good directions and signing brought us straight to the site at Celleron, in through the gate and up the track.  "Wots this?"' I mused upon seeing a sign saying engage 4wd.  Was this some kind of fiendish L & C practical joke to get you out in the pouring rain engaging your hubs?  Once we saw the field all was revealed;]  How does the song go??.........

"Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud".  Well they had it in plenty and still it persistently rained, but the welcome we got from Geoff Thomlinson and crew was warm and cordial even though it was approaching midnight, and Easter Egg and envelope were thrust through the window and directions handed out.  "We want you to go right up into the top corner of the field", he said.  Well, it does mean we are improving, it always used to be the bottom corners; Saturday morning, and after using the curtain to clear the condensation off the windows, three things became apparent to my bleary eye.  1.. A very nice view across the camp site.  2. The ever persistent rain, and  3. Alan Panters' 6 legger Volvo F88 cattle truck up to its axles in the bottom corner of the field ! It also became clear that people were getting ready to do the trial despite the rain, so rather than be called a cissy we got up and joined in.


Firstly we had to collect 'Arry 'Aighs Easter Egg so he could stop trying to nick mine, then we got scrutinised, (such a nice man too!) a quick verbal lashing for Jim Jobson from Nero, some sharp journalistic repartee with ace rival 'Big Ed' Higgins a quick bowl of the new wonder breakfast cereal, 'Snap, Crackle and Poop' and on to the fells for the trials.


It was obvious from the start that the Pennine contingent was the largest group there, in fact the other clubs were only really noticeable by their absence.'

The trial was excellent, held right on the top of the fells with  wonderful views all round, especially down to Ullswater, lovely wide sticks for you to run into while you admired the view and great slabs of Lakeland granite to crumple your brand new bumper, sob, sob;  Of course, being in Derek Montford's group was a great advantage.  You don't have to be able to drive, he talks you round.'

His aunt is pretty good too.  She's the only woman I know who can keep John Lister at a loss for words all day:


Carl Amos was keeping up his usual fine form on the trial, and Melonie Simmonite was having a good day in the 80" (with a little help from her friends.')

George Carruthers seemed to be having a bit of an off day but enjoying himself nevertheless.  Alan Panter had to place his Landy on its side in order to do a quick clutch repair job.  Harry Haigh managed to stick his arm through his side window while flailing around with the steering wheel (an observation he denies strongly;)  Dave Sagar retired at lunchtime succumbing to the comforts of his caravan, I think!  The rest of our 21 entries battling on.  Although it did rain on and off for most of the day it never kept up long enough to spoil the competition.  It did, however, help to make the field even mushier.' and so to Saturday

night .............


Everyone's heard of the 'Clog Dance' but have you ever actually seen it performed?? No?  Well that's what you get for not coming to Pooley Bridge at Easter.  Alan Panter and George Carruthers, shod with clogs and irons (Wot?  No wellies?) did a wonderful duet while under the affluence of incohol at the local pub that night.  The Landlord was definitely 'Pennine' material.  He played instruments, sang songs and told some belting jokes. (Did you hear the one about the wagon driver and the farmer's daughter? Come to think of it you'd better not either!)  It was the early hours of the morning when we wended gently back, all except for George  who floated home.


Sunday morning dawned with the drumming of the rain on the roof matching the drumming in your head. The by now soggy curtain once again let me look out on life.  Alan's wagon was a little deeper in, the land owner went pale when he saw L & C committee members.  L & C committee members went paler still when they saw the caravan site and Pennine of course were in their natural habitat and as happy as pigs in sh-ewage!


The Comp Safari had about 20 entries, 75% of which were Pennine and half a dozen hangovers, all of which were Pennines!!


The course was about a mile long with a greasy surface, a few adverse cambers, a steep hill and very boggy finishing stretch designed with the photographers in mind I think, there were three runs, best two to count.


The only Yorkshire entry was Geoff Hirst in his Range Rover who was twice beaten by the steep hill and had to retire, the only other Rangey entered being the all black JPM 22 entered by Green. The finish was particularly spectacular when taken at speed, vehicles leaping into the air in a shower of mud only to be slowed on landing by the same stuff.


In class one, the 'home grown' entrant for L & C, Tom Boydell was an easy leader, but his easy lead was no reflection on the amount of effort that Alan Panter was putting in trying to catch him.  In class two, Carl Amos was pulling out a lead even though he wasted one by missing the finish completely.  The specials class, however, was the closest fought with Dave Sagar really pedalling his V8 80" in order to make David Green chase him with his Range Rover.  In the end it was a dead heat which meant a run off between the two motors.  It was definitely a touch of the David and Goliath's and I'm not just talking about the difference in motors either;  On the run off, Dave Sagar really threw everything into it and went like a rocket to beat the Range Rover by a full 6 seconds, a really fanastic achievement..


Again the weather hadn't been too clever but it never spoiled the day's enjoyment.  Mind you, I had a right rollicking off Big Ed on the way back to the caravan site so I sulked for the rest of the day.  (He's only jealous 'cos his magazeen ain’t not like as good as wot mine is!) Some of the braver ones went out for a repeat performance of the night before, others chickened out:


Monday, and the curtain needs wringing out before it can clear my window on the world.  Alan's wagon was no longer in sight 'cos Team Pennine power had held its own team recovery using George Carruthers' winch, Dave Illingworth's motor and a couple of anchors plus, of course, Volvo power and Diff locks.  First prize was being allowed a quick honk on Alan's air horns.  Monday was the team  recovery, and I have to admit that as I wasn't entered, I didn't bother getting up too early which meant that I missed most of the action, sorree lads!


I only saw three sections, two of which were damned hard and one was a doddle.  It certainly provided the entries with a lot of exercise though;

Monday evening, and who should be handing out the pots but Big Ed, a perfect end to the weekend this, a chance to humiliate him in public.  Pity it didn't quite work out like that!


MSA and ARC club members are welcome to come along and join our events. Phone Mark on 07866 506521 / 01282 703718



Pennine Land Rover Club, Pennine LRC